On big holidays I try to avoid nighclubs and events. It just gets too crazy and annoying. I hate dealing with big crowds. People tend to act like douchebags when there is too many of them in one space. Go to any big DJ at a trendy club and you’ll see what I mean. People start pushing and throwing elbows. I once caught a guy trying to punch me the kidney as I tempted to get by him in a plume of fog. But I digress..
I had a pretty late night at the Box the night before but I managed to get up early and rally to get to the beach. I went to Jones beach with an old friend from college I hadn’t seen in a while. We got there pretty early, before it got outrageously crowded. Maybe it was because of the holiday but I remember Jones having at least 30% hot chicks when I was younger. I barely seen any. What the f*ck happened?
It kind of brought back funny memories for me. One of my first promoting jobs was handing out fliers for Arena at Field 4 for Mike BMI when I was barely 17. Remember when the only way u could get accurate tallys was they had to bring a flier with your stamp on it. I’m definitely getting old. FML
We found a good spot and set up our blanket. We happened to post up next to a group of Solo Cups that were obviously from Nassau county or something. Two of them were decent but these weren’t girls you would go out of your way to invite to your table or anything. These were girls the you would see at Mcfaddens or Pacha.
I put on my sunglasses and laid out to catch some rays. Now I wasn’t intentionally listening to their conversation but these girls especially the ring leader were really loud. The first thing that caught my attention was the girls saying. “Remember when I thought I was pregnant. I took the pregnancy test at work.” lol that was the first of 15 minutes worth of graphic sex talk and gossip about whatever restaurant this girl worked for that would follow that statement. Here are some highlights.
Alpha Chick: ”Omg the manager at my job totally got this one hostess pregnant and he was married. The restaurant paid for the abortion.”
Alpha Chick: [Redacted] “He’s not even really physically attractive but he’s so intellectual and shit. It really makes me want to fuck his brains out.”
Alpha Chick: ”He fucked me in the office, in the storage room and in the freezer.”
Girl 2: ”I hope not the food freezer.”
Alpha Chick: “No, it was where they keep the liquor.”
Alpha Chick: ”I was so scared though because we were on the clock. I mean if they caught us fucking after our shift I’m sure it would have been cool.”
Girl 2: ”He would totally fuck you but then again all the managers like fresh meat.”
Alpha Chick: “…and that was the beginning of my first lesbian relationship.”
Some of the shit they were saying was so graphic. I wish I could remember more. Who knew girls talked like that. I mean I’ve heard some pretty raw conversations but this sounded like a bunch of sailors. I kind of wanted to go up to them with a resume asking if her job was hiring as a goof. I wish I knew which restaurant it was. What I do know is there is some random restaurant in long island where the produce is probably covered in ejaculate and you might catch and STD eating the prime rib.
I hung out there until like 3 then headed home. Around 5 I headed to a friends apartment for a rooftop BBQ party to watch the fireworks. He lives over on the west side and has a sweet multi level rooftop deck. I seen a lot of cool people I’ve known for a while and met some new ones. We had lots of great food, plenty of booze, and even vodka soaked watermelon. It was a nice chill atmosphere and lead to plenty of great conversations.
My boy told me this hilarious story about how he recognized some russian stripper from a recent strip club outing at a bar and how he went up to her. I wondered how you pull that off without saying “Hey, are you that stripper I met last week?” and imagine if you were wrong and she wasn’t. I would tell you the rest of the story but I wouldn’t do it justice. Maybe I’ll ask him to write it for the site.
We caught the fireworks from the roof. It was a pretty good show and it was cool to see so many other people on nearby roofs as well. When you looked at all the tall building around the city it appeared as if they were sparkling with all the camera flashes. It was a cool experience and a fun night away from the craziness that is nightlife. Check out some video below.